A few years ago I went on a complaining fast, and just decided I didn’t need extra negative energy in my life. When I stopped complaining, I noticed how often others complained and Lord, have mercy, people are complainers. My fast made me conscious of what, when, and why I felt the need to complain. I hoped this type of fast would be a magic cure for happiness. It wasn’t. I still have to work with dogged determination for happiness. I’m just not a pie in the sky person. I’m much more reflective and thoughtful and inquisitive. When you sit and think all the damn time, a state of happiness just kinda gets pushed aside.
I’ve decided to fast two things this year: Worry and Food.
Worry-When I was taking yoga, I learned how to sit in uncomfortable situations and not try to do anything with it, just sit there and feel all the ICK without judgment. This was a powerful lesson. I also learned how to focus your thoughts. When you think about something, you just think about it more and more, and I was going through a situation where I did not want to deliberately think about it, so I allowed myself 20 minutes to sit and spew and cry and worry, and after the 20 minutes, whenever the thing I didn’t want to think about entered my mind, I said, “I’ll think about it tomorrow,” and changed my thought pattern.
This pushed away all the ICK into manageable processing–I found myself not so consumed with my problem and I was able to figure out exactly what was wrong. Perhaps it was a bit of self-brainwashing. I don’t know, but it helped.
Now, I shall broaden this mind trick to a bigger venture: Worry. Whenever I find myself worrying currently, I pray. I learned this from Philippians 4:6,7. Yet, I still worry. This year, I’ll focus on not even worrying. I’ll just change my thought pattern. Sounds easy. I’m positive it won’t be.
Food-I’m getting over a horrific cold I’ve had for the past two weeks. In the process, I’ve dropped about six pounds. Yes, I need food, but really only for nourishment and to get things done. I LOVE food, especially fried and fatty foods, covered in cheese. I love carbs, and sugar, and grease. Yumm-o. I’m not choosing to give up these foods, rather, I’m just choosing to only eat when I’m hungry.
I’ve been thinking about this. Food is just fuel and medicine. It is not something that should be hoarded or obsessed about; food should bring us joy, but not to the point where we feel sick. Many times I mindlessly eat. I’m all about texture, and I like soft, gooey foods (chocolate cake, enchiladas, mashed potatoes, cheese fries) but if this is all I eat, and compound it with mindlessness, I’m pretty much setting myself up for disaster.
I have tastebuds that love fat (don’t we all?), and a stomach that is repulsed by it. I have to eat these foods in moderation, lest I’m on the toilet for 48 hours straight (which has happened more times than I can count). A friend said, “This is good. You’ve got a built in defense mechanism against obesity. At least you get sick. I just gain weight.” Maybe it is a blessing. Who knows?
Back to my point… these last two weeks, I’ve eaten about one meal a day, and that’s just when I take an ibuprofen so I don’t get ulcers. I’ve not been hungry because I’ve just been sitting on the couch doing nada. Not eating has amazingly resulted in weight loss (sarcasm).
I can understand the science that says we should eat six small meals a day. But I really think I only need to eat when I’m hungry. There are days when I’m just not hungry, and days when I eat everything in the house. I also have nights when I sleep 10 hours, and nights when I sleep only five. Your body constantly adapts to any given situation.
So, my fast with food… only eat when hungry. This will be a new mind trick to learn. And how amazingly spoiled we are that we can eat anything and everything we want, whenever we want, and then feel deprived when we can’t feed our impulsive desires. Seems like the pinnacle of self-centeredness to me.
